Saturday, February 28, 2009

Three Good Things

Jeff came out today to give me a good talking to. I’ve been in such a funk these last couple weeks. It’s funny, but I felt worse than I did when it all first happened. Jeff says it’s not strange at all, that I was in shock or denial or both, and that it’s only now started to get real and that’s why I’ve been so mood indigo. So he got on the train and didn’t even tell me he was coming until he called from the Speonk station for me to pick him up. We spent the whole day talking. He helped me move some furniture and boxes, and we drove all the way out to Turtle Crossing to get some barbecue for dinner. He has to be at work tomorrow – something I didn’t understand about a load balancer – so he couldn’t stay over. After we ate, I put him on the train in East Hampton.

I felt so much better for having seen him, I didn’t even mind the drive home alone. Except for Ed dropping by once a week, checking in on me really, and he and Leonie having me to dinner a couple of times, I’ve been all on my own since I got here. It’s not good, I know. But it’s hard to get out there and try and join the community when the weather makes me feel like hiding under the blankets. And anyway, how am I supposed to do it? Join a gym? Can’t afford it. Find a book group? Give me a break. I could use a job, even a part time one, but everything here died out years before this November. I can walk the two miles to what used to be “town” (it’s free exercise, right?), but every other storefront has newspapered windows. The most happening place in town is the thrift store, which is in a double wide spot that used to be the dime store when I was a kid. Everyone brings in their stuff and the “antiques” buyers from the Hamptons and the city make regular trips in to mine it. Or at least that’s how it’s been. Leonie says the locals are finally starting to catch on to Craig’s List; they can make a lot more by selling their stuff direct. Yeah, things are hoppin’ big time out here in Arahmpett.

Still, Jeff’s right. It’s not doing me any good sitting in this house, drinking too much coffee and re-reading old books. And like he says, it’s easy to let days and days go by that way when there’s no one for me to answer to. So he’s made me promise that I’m going to post on this blog every single day.

What I’m supposed to do is put down three good things that happened that day. Jeff says no matter what, there have to be three. It’s not, as he said, like I’m living in a war zone or have to dumpster dive to eat. His thinking is, if I have to write down three things, not only will I appreciate what I do have, but I’ll be forced to make things happen. I’ll start looking at what I can control and setting goals I can accomplish. He made me promise. And he’s checking this blog first thing every morning, so he’ll know if I haven’t done it.

It sounds a little Oprah, I know, but you know, I don’t have any better ideas and it won’t cost me anything to try. So I’m starting now, while I’m still kind of high from having a good day.

My three good things for today are:

#1 - Having a friend like Jeff. You’re blushing, aren’t you? Well, come on. You’re the best friend I have in the world, and we both know I’m not exaggerating. I know you’d like to wave a magic wand and make everything okay. And you’re such a great person that it hurts you that you can’t. No one could make everything okay for me this time, Jeff. But you help me get back up and keep going. Thank you. For everything.

#2 – Turtle Crossing barbecue. If you’re within driving distance of East Hampton and you’ve never eaten at Turtle Crossing, you’re a fool. I’ve tried pretty much everything on the menu, and it’s all amazing. It’s the kind of food that can turn any day into a holiday. I had ribs tonight, because I haven’t had them in so long. And I brought home enough brisket and pulled pork for three more dinners. Cornbread, beans and cole slaw, too. They make the absolute best cole slaw.

#3 – The big old bathtub in the upstairs bathroom. I remember begging Uncle Harry to let me replace it with one of those easy-install fiberglass units. I had one picked out was a gunmetal grey, which I thought was so sophisticated. Fortunately, he wouldn’t hear of it. He liked being able to stretch out and soak after a hard day, and he was too big for the newer tubs. I didn’t really understand until the flat in Prague, which had a super large claw foot Victorian; now that was a tub! That was when I started to appreciate the value of having my own private hydrotherapy. I made Gary put big Jacuzzi tubs in all our houses….Sorry, this is supposed to be about what’s good, not what’s gone wrong. But I have to say that if I ever have money again, if there’s one thing I’m getting it’s a Jacuzzi. That and a toilet with a Toto washlet. For now, I’m grateful Uncle H never listened to me. And now I’m putting away my computer, pouring myself a snifter of cognac and taking myself a soak.

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