Wednesday, May 6, 2009


I just came on to post this and was kind of freaked because my post from Saturday was still sitting in my account as a draft. I could swear I posted it. It’s not like I was in a rush or was interrupted or anything. I guess I’d better double check after I “post” this one, right?

Well, she didn’t come back in a stretch, but that’s because she didn’t come back. She managed to get into the Model as Muse opening at the Met on Monday night, so she had to shuffle a few appointments and she’ll be coming back on Friday instead.

What’s good about this is that it’s made me realize how much I’ve started liking being on my own away from everything. Hearing Maggs going on about dinner at Waverly Inn, and loading up at Barney’s and all that, you’d think I would have been frustrated or sad, but it seemed so far away from me. I mean, I could use some better groceries, and I do think its ironic that its only now that I moved out of town and can’t afford it anyway that they finally opened a Zadig et Voltaire in NYC. But I can’t say I really miss anything. I’ve been liking the quiet, and not having the pressure of worrying what people are thinking about me, and just the space to remember who I am.

The last couple of days, with Maggs in the city, it’s been good to hear the quiet. Do you know how great it’s been to listen to music again – I mean really listen, not just have it on in the background while doing other things. How sad is that? I’m a musician (at least I was, in a small way) and I’ve hardly really listened to music in years. But now I do. And I’ve been right on top of doing my pilates. And I’m not getting into Architectural Digest any time soon, but my house is mine, not some decorator’s, not Gary’s trophy wife’s. And maybe I don’t have much of a social life, but when I have dinner with Ed and Leonie, it’s so nice. Nice people, nice food, nice conversation. Nice is so underrated. I like nice.

What I’m seeing is that I’m not in exile out here, which is how it felt. I’m in an okay place. Now I need to start building a life here.

Three good things:
-- the sun came out in the middle of the day, even though it wasn’t supposed to
-- I listened to Charlie Parker
-- I’m home

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